this one is for you aboriginaali........



REDNECK ZODIAC
=============

OKRA (Dec 22 - Jan 20)
Although you appear crude, you are actually very slick
on the inside. Okras have tremendous influence. An older Okra can look back over his life and see the seeds of his influence everywhere. Stay away from Moon Pies.

CHITLIN (Jan 21 - Feb. 19)
Chitlins come from humble backgrounds. A chitlin, however, can make something of himself if he's motivated and has lots of seasoning. In dealing with Chitlins, be careful. They can erupt like Vesuvius. Chitlins are best with Catfish and Okra.

BOLL WEEVIL (Feb. 20 - Mar 20)
You have an overwhelming curiosity. You're unsatisfied
with the surface of things, and you feel the need to bore deep into the interior of everything.
Needless to say, you are very intense and driven as if
you had some inner hunger. Nobody in their right mind is going to marry you, so don't worry about it.

MOON PIE (Mar 21 - Apr 20)
You're the type that spends a lot of time on the front porch. It's a cinch to recognize the physical appearance of Moon Pies. Big and round are the key words here. You should marry anybody who you can get remotely interested in the idea. It's not going to be easy. This might be the year
to think about aerobics. Or - maybe not.

POSSUM (Apr 21 - May 21)
When confronted with life's difficulties, possums have a marked tendency to withdraw and develop a don't-bother-
me-about-it attitude. Sometimes you become so withdrawn, people actually think you're dead. This strategy is probably not psychologically healthy but seems to work for you.
One day, however, it won't work, and you may find your
problems actually running you over.

CRAWFISH (May 22 - June 21)
Crawfish is a water sign. If you work in an office,
you're always hanging around the water cooler. Crawfish prefer the beach to the mountains, the pool to the golf course, the bathtub to the living room. You tend to be not
particularly attractive physically, but you have very,
very good heads.

COLLARDS (June 22 - July 23)
Collards have a genius for communication. They love to
get in the "melting pot" of life and share their essence with the essence of those round them. Collards make good social workers, psychologists and baseball managers. As
far as personal life goes, if you are Collards, stay
away from Moon Pies. It just won't work. Save yourself a lot of heartache.

CATFISH (July 24 - Aug. 23)
Catfish are traditionalists in matters of the heart, although whiskers may cause problems for loved ones. You catfish are never easy people to unerstand. You prefer the muddy bottoms to the clear surface of life.
Above all else, Catfish should stay away from Moon Pies.

GRITS (Aug. 24 - Sept. 23)
Your highest aim is to be with others like yourself.
You like to huddle together with a big crowd of other Grits. You love to travel though, so maybe you should think about joining club. Where do you like to go? Anywhere there is cheese or gravy or bacon or butter or eggs. If you can go
somewhere where they have all these things, that serves
you well.

BOILED PEANUTS (Sept. 24 - Oct. 23)
You have a passionate desire to help your fellow man.
Unfortunately, those who know you best - your friends and
loved ones - may find that your personality is much too
salty, and their criticism will probably affect you deeply because you are really much softer than you appear. You should go right ahead and marry anybody you want to
because in a certain way, yours is a charmed life. On
the road of life, you can be sure that people will always pull over and stop for you.

BUTTER BEAN (Oct. 24 - Nov. 22)
Always invite a Butter Bean, because Butter Beans get
along well with everybody. You, as a Butter Bean, should be proud. You've grown on the vine of life, and you feel at home no matter what the setting. You can sit next to anybody. However, you, too, shouldn't have anything to do with Moon
Pies.

ARMADILLO (Nov. 23 - Dec 21)
You have a tendency to develop a tough exterior, but you
are actually quite gentle. A good evening for you? Old friends, a fire, some roots, fruit, worms and insects. You're not concerned with today's fashions and trends.
You're not concerned with anything about today. You're
really almost prehistoric in your interests and behavior
patterns. You probably want to marry another Armadillo, but Possum is another somewhat kinky, mating possibility.

LOL! Here's another.. :

---------------
Redneck computer terms

BACKUP - What you do when you run across a skunk in the woods

BAR CODE - Them's the fight'n rules down at the local tavern

BUG - The reason you give for calling in sick

BYTE - What your pit bull dun to cusin Jethro

CACHE - Needed when you run out of food stamps

CHIP - Pasture muffins that you try not to step in

TERMINAL - Time to call the undertaker

CRASH - When you go to Junior's party uninvited

DIGITAL - The art of counting on your fingers

DISKETTE - Female Disco dancer

FAX - What you lie about to the IRS

HACKER - Uncle Leroy after 32 years of smoking

HARDCOPY - Picture looked at when selecting tattoos

INTERNET - Where cafeteria workers put their hair

KEYBOARD - Where you hang the keys to the John Deere

MAC - Big Bubba's favorite fast food

MEGAHERTZ - How your head feels after 17 beers

MODEM - What ya did when the grass and weeds got too tall

MOUSE PAD - Where Mickey and Minnie live

NETWORK - Scoop'n up a big fish before it breaks the line

ONLINE - Where to stay when taking the sobriety test

ROM - Where the pope lives

SCREEN - Helps keep the skeeters off the porch

SERIAL PORT - A red wine you drink with breakfast

SUPERCONDUCTOR - Amtrak's Employee of the year

SCSI - What you call your week-old underwear

Log On: Makin' the wood stove hotter.

Log Off: Don't add no wood.

Monitor: Keepin' an eye on the wood stove.

Download: Gettin' the firewood off the pickup.

Mega Hertz: When yer not careful down loadin'.

Floppy Disk: Whatcha git from pilin' too much firewood.

Ram: The hydrolic thingy that splits the firewood.

Hard Drive: Getting' home in the winter season.

Prompt: What you wish the mail was in the winter.

Windows: What to shut when it's below 15 below.

Screen: What 'cha need for the black fly season.

Byte: That's what the flies do.

Chip: What to munch on.

Micro Chip: What's left in the bottom of the bag.

Infrared: Where the left-overs go when Fred's around.

Modem: What 'cha did to the hay fields.

Dot Matrix: Farmer Matrix's wife.

Lap Top: Where little kids feel comfy.

Keyboard: Where ya hang your keys.

Software: Them plastic eatin' utensils.

Mouse: Whats eats the horses grain.

Main Frame: Hold up the barn roof.

Port: Fancy wine.

Enter: C'mon in.

Random Access Memory: You can't remember whatcha' paid for that new rifle when your wife asks.

Don't read this while you are trying to eat or drink anything:

rinkworks.com/dialect/dia...sorrow.net

:rollin:

FRY MAH HIDE!
looks like I´m an OKRA

hey allison
Nice redneck jokes
In the fintroll forum they told me you were probably telling redneck jokes..

You must see how it's going there with the troll spirit..
Wenduhl droppes his 2 cents for this
See you around

Greetz Vlad

ok - I'll swing by there soon to check in

Here's another one I found. I'm laughing so hard my contact lenses are soon to wash out from my eyes.
Some of them make absolutely no sense.

REDNECK GRAMMATICAL EXPRESSIONS

Exclamations:

"Well knock me down and steal muh teeth!"

"Well, butter my ass and call me a biscuit."

Threats:

"I'll slap you so hard, your clothes will be outta style."

"This'll jar your preserves."

"Don't you be makin' me open a can o' whoop-ass on ya!"

Good Things/Compliments:

"Cute as a sack full of puppies."

"If things get any better, I may have to hire someone to help me enjoy it."

"Gooder than grits."

The Weather:

"It's so dry, the trees are bribing the dogs."

"It's been hotter'n a goat's ass in a pepper patch."

"Wintry roads are said to be "slicker than otter snot."

Descriptions:

A bothersome person is "like a booger that you can't thump off."

"When something is bad then you say, "that ain't no count."

If something is hard to do, it's "like trying to herd cats."

"He ran like his feet was on fire and his ass was catchin."

A hectic schedule keeps you "Busier than a cat covering crap on a marble floor."

Insults:

"She's uglier than homemade soap."

"Your momma's so fat, when she stepped up on the scale to be weighed, it said 'To be continued.'"

"He fell out of the ugly tree and hit every branch on the way down."

"Uglier than a lard bucket full of armpits."

"The wheels still turning, but the hamsters dead"

Any insulting statement is always followed by "bless his/her heart." Example: "She's dumber than a door knob, bless her heart."

Especially your signature blessed be is enjoying.
Maybe Allison is a redneck herself

No, I'm not a redneck, just one who despises them. Actually, my signature is of pagan origin, nothing to do with rednecks.

rednecks are frequently heard ending every other sentence with "praise the lord". and THAT gets on my tit big time - especially when they say it to ME.

Haha, sorry was a nice joke though.
I don't know rednecks I live in HOlland

you have a different, and I should think worse, problem over there with the sand niggers, don't you?

Yes, from Turkey and Marokko.. They form gangs here in stuff.
In the Belgian country they even want the Arabian language as an official language next to Dutch and French, real stupid.

A Polish guy got beaten up I heard wednesday by a bunch of those Turks, Marokko people..