Uncensored Gossips [Archive] - HMAS.org Music Community

VauhtiParoni

03-13-2002, 11:10 AM

Well, there was these three guys in a public toilet in some bar. Jonne from Shaman comes out from the booth and washes his hands and says: "We´re very accurate with hygiene in Shaman."

Then Mahi from Ensiferum comes out from his booth after finishing his number two and washes his hands and says: "In Ensiferum we don´t accept impurities."

Finally Henri from Moonsorrow comes out from his booth, doesn´t wash his hands and bursts out loud: "We don´t piss to our hands in Moonsorrow!!!"

:lol: :rollin: :lol:

Everybody near Tampere comes to Tulliklubi tonight to see these three bands live! Tickets 8 euros. Showtime 22.00. Welcome!

Crimson Twin

03-13-2002, 01:22 PM

VauhtiParoni: That was really fuckin great!!! :lol: :lol: :D :)

allissson

03-13-2002, 05:55 PM

8 Euros!? Damn that's cheap!! :eek:

Tales from the men's room......... :lol:

I'm waiting to see what Peikkoperkele posts here............ :evil:

Peikkoperkele666

03-13-2002, 08:08 PM

heh.. great VP :lol:

Rumor1: I've heard that in Katla's Operation... they operated the wrong head and now he sings in Stratovarius

Rumor2: I've Heard that Henu is a Hermaphordite and he's\she's pregnant

Rumor3: Heard that Mika Luttinen Stole an alien space ship from area 51

Rumor4: Heard that Immortal's Abbath uses white socks!!!

Rumor5:Heard that Barathrums Demonos Sova has got moss in his fridge

Rumor6: Somebody saw that the famous Moonsorrows singer Ville S. was buying food and other suplies from ALEPA!!!

Rumor7: Heard that Moonsorrow's Baron Tarwonen is actualy from the third moon of venus

"Govermen denies everything"

allissson

03-13-2002, 09:23 PM

"Rumor1: I've heard that in Katla's Operation... they operated the wrong head and now he sings in Stratovarius"

:lol: :lol: :lol: oh, that's a low one!

"Rumor4: Heard that Immortal's Abbath uses white socks!!!"

I don't get this one. Are you saying he's not trendy or something?

"Rumor6: Somebody saw that the famous Moonsorrows singer Ville S. was buying food and other suplies from ALEPA!!!"

Another grocery shop chain possibly?

Peikkoperkele666

03-13-2002, 09:38 PM

"I don't get this one. Are you saying he's not trendy or something?"
naah... just a stupid joke of this "trueness"(is that even a word!?) thing ;) ...

and ALEPA is a very dirty pornshop chain of all kind of bondage and mustard fetishes ;) :D :p

allissson

03-14-2002, 01:46 AM

Actually, this is true gossip but it's so funny I've gotta tell about it.

My niece, who is 5 years old, was on a field trip to the cinema with her class at school and there were some other school groups there too. :lol: Well, being the prissy little cow that she is, she stood up on her seat and shouted "Hey kids, look at all the niggers!" :lol: There was a group of them there you see. When my sister told me about that I was laughing so vitun hard I nearly suffocated. She didn't think it was funny at all, but she's far too serious about everything.

Serenity

03-14-2002, 02:25 PM

Last night, 0.49 am I got a text-message:

"Ei me hihhuleita olla, me ollaan jeesuksen asialla"
(We´re not maniacs, we´re here for Jesus)

I won´t tell you who send it but lets just say he´s pretty famous and true metal-singer from Tampere :lol:

I answered him back; No iliman muuta, eihän arkkipaikkaakaan etukortilla varattua saa...
(Of course you are, you can´t get to heaven with a credit card)
And he said:...läpi katkerten kyynelten maailmaa ei nää...
(...through bitter tears you can´t see the world...)

It turned ouy that he was at the bar, surprise, surprise :lol:

vitr

03-22-2002, 04:12 PM

Peikkoperkele - This is for you. http://www.contrabandent.com/cwm/s/contrib/geno/fuckyou.gif

When you've sold as many records as Stratovarius, feel free to slate them! ;)

Valkyrianvixen

03-22-2002, 04:31 PM

"Rumor2: I've Heard that Henu is a Hermaphordite and he's\she's pregnant"
It's not a rumor, it's true.

"...and ALEPA is a very dirty pornshop chain of all kind of bondage and mustard fetishes"
Yes, of course, that's why we shop there almost every day (this pregnancy thing has really got Henri horny.... :eek: )

allissson

03-22-2002, 05:32 PM

Valkyrianvixen - :lol: :lol: :lol: He would never survive the first trimester let alone the birth itself!! My husband went into a million pieces - and all HE had to do was stand there and go fetch cups of water for me!! If we had to depend on these men to have babies the human race would have been extinct looooong ago!! :lol:

Hittavainen

03-23-2002, 04:11 AM

"When you've sold as many records as Stratovarius, feel free to slate them!"

Oh. So, when YOU are sold as many records as Backstreet Boys, feel free to slate them!
Strato sucks ass!!! :lol:

(P.S. welcome back :) )

vitr

03-23-2002, 04:53 PM

You ain't gonna get yourselves respected with potential new fans if you slate more famous bands, you know. ;)

(I'm assuming Peikkoperkele and Hittavainen are band members... )

Laine

03-23-2002, 07:44 PM

All genitalmetal (examples, male: Stratovarius, female: Nightwish) bands must be slated. Shoo!

vitr

03-23-2002, 08:06 PM

Laine, are you asking me to leave?

*looks hard for a smiley especially for Laine*

You wouldn't want to hear what I think of musicians wearing armour. ;) With freedom comes responsibility, with freedom of speech comes tact. (for me, anyways).

And for what it's worth, I think Slayer sucks. :p But I think I can get through the day without whining about them :p

Hittavainen

03-23-2002, 10:17 PM

Genitalmetal! :lol:

Actually i'm not a member of THIS band, and Peikkoprkl aren't either.
And i don't care a fck about my popularity, so i slate whoever i want! :evil:
But listen to stratowhinius if you want, im not going to hit you with a mighty sword of Steel for that. Hey, if i'd got mad every time when someone says something about my all time favourite band Manowar (like "they're cheesy faggots!"), i'd be the major consumer of keyboards. :)

Laine

03-23-2002, 10:35 PM

A wee bit of (self-) irony doesn't hurt, y'know vitr. :D
Powermetal is silly, no matter how much you like it. That is not to say the genre isn't good, it doesn't have any good bands at all, all it's listeners are retarded, etc.

What do you care if I do not fancy your bands? :p

Metal isn't quite the genre for being ultimately serious about everything, I can easily laugh at and like Manowar at the same time.

vitr

03-24-2002, 12:58 AM

You're stating your opinions like they are facts. Powermetal is silly in *your*opinion. I take some music seriously. I love Hammerfall too, even if they are lighthearted stuff.

Don't go sounding like a xtian on us now... ;)

People can like who they like, don't like who they don't like, but mindless slating pisses me off. Especially if it is about my fave band. :p

Laine

03-24-2002, 01:33 AM

"You're stating your opinions like they are facts."

That's the picture I always think people will get, erroneously. Should I put "the above is only the present opinion of mine about whatever we were talking about" for a signature? :p

It should be crystal clear to everyone that whatever someone else says (about personal things like music) is irrelevant, and only the abovementioned kind of opinion. And if those Right Opinions of mine sound like universal facts, put the Irony Glasses on and read them again... you might see them in the light I intended.

Allright, it seems I'm not that good at talking about other people's powermetal preferences. :)

Pakana

03-24-2002, 11:30 AM

"Should I put "the above is only the present opinion of mine about whatever we were talking about" for a signature?"

Actually... you could do that! :lol:

allissson

03-26-2002, 12:11 AM

:rolleyes: :rolleyes: :rolleyes: ei vitun helvetti......mitä paskaa tämä on! anteeksi varten tämä herramies.

Hittavainen - you ARE in a band called Shaman are you not? I was being a nosy neighbour at your website there. It seems the name fits the band very well :) And I like the music too. :) I get a feeling that this is not just a stage thing, you guys are really into Shamanism?

Did you know that there's this band from Brazil, the remnants of Angra, and they are called Shaman but they suck horribly as did Angra.

I also love Stratovarius, but I promise I won't bite if someone says they don't like them....well I won't bite hard anyway :lol: Same for Sentenced, Helloween, Charon, In Flames, Gamma Ray, Edguy, etc. I am well accustomed to being told the whole lot of them suck on a daily basis right here at home :lol: "Sucks" is a very frequently used word in this household when talking about music as we are as diverse in 3 different directions as one could possibly get.

Laine

03-26-2002, 12:19 AM

Who was that first line directed at? :p

allissson

03-26-2002, 12:37 AM

arvata! :p en tiedä - kuka sä ajatella?

Laine

03-26-2002, 01:38 AM

Oh my GOD!

Laine

03-26-2002, 01:46 AM

I know I shouldn't be commenting others' music because if someone would ask me what do I listen to then, I would be confused... :p

allissson

03-26-2002, 03:19 AM

En en en tarkoita sinua, hassu! Sinä voit sanoa mitä haluat mistä tahansa bändistäi, se ei häiritse minua. En ole kireä niinkuin joku toinen täällä. :lol:

aboriginaali

03-26-2002, 04:05 AM

Sun täytyy tätä menoa siirtyä suomenkieliseen foorumiin!!! :lol:

allissson

03-26-2002, 08:41 AM

:lol: :lol: You're kidding aren't you? I'm nowhere near half fluent enough for that aboriginaali! I'll get run out of there in 5 minutes for poor grammar! :lol:

This was done in the interest of peace trust me. ;)

Hittavainen

03-26-2002, 01:49 PM

Yes, i do play in that band, but i'm not into shamanism. The former of the band, Jonne has lived in Lapland. There he had a samish girlfriend, who's father was a shaman and then turned into shamanism. Actually i don't know if he still practices shamanism, i haven't asked him. (I have played only few months in that band, and i hope i haven't spoke @#%$ about our yoik-singer.)

Yes, there are at least 2 more bands called Shaman who are still functional, but Jonne has talked with the Angra-Shaman's guys and they figured out that they can fit in the same world.

Did you knew that we have a forum (http://pub64.ezboard.com/bthecircleofshaman) too... ;)

vitr

03-26-2002, 03:40 PM

Can we keep it in English please? :|

Laine

03-26-2002, 08:16 PM

I thought you were trying to offend me. :D

vitr

03-26-2002, 10:12 PM

Me? Offend someone?

Naw... "shoo" means Go away where I come from. I thought you were saying something like "F*ck off out of the forum if you like power metal because you think it's silly. Don't get me started on what a joke I think all that "true" poser trend crap is. But I'm not gonna say "it stinks", I'd say "I think it stinks".

Anyway...

Laine

03-26-2002, 11:09 PM

Noo, you keep misunderstanding me all the time! :D
I thought Allisson was trying to offend me by swearing in finnish...

My opinion is my opinion, no matter how I present it. With that logic, "it stinks" == "I think it stinks".
This is a nice way to annoy people, it seems. :p

I do have one Gamma Ray album, and a few Blind Guardian ones, though the latter is not that much power...

Props for using "shoo", it's a fun word.

Pakana

03-26-2002, 11:24 PM

Laine, where's your proposed signature? :p

Laine

03-27-2002, 12:26 AM

Here ye go.

Hittavainen

03-27-2002, 01:11 AM

Actually, i have at least one Hammerfall album... <img src=http://www.ezboard.com/intl/aenglish/images/emoticons/embarassed.gif ALT=":o">
(and one Rhapsody's single because someone said the new material was different...)

Laine

03-27-2002, 02:43 AM

Allright, let's compete who has the worst records! (bad music can be good, of course, if you're perverted enough like me)

Accept - I'm a Rebel
Motörhead - Live & Loud
M.A. Numminen - Herra Huun ihmeelliset seikkailut, M.A. Numminen Goes Tech-No, Kiusankappaleita 1

And one horrible cd of german chamber music or something, cost 5fim in the Levymusiikki of Lappeenranta.

Laine

03-27-2002, 02:46 AM

And "Shamaanin kosto" by Jumalan Ruoska is pretty fu*king bad too!

Huurretursas

03-27-2002, 04:03 AM

*Nobody* can beat this. Original LP-version of Goatlord's Reflections of the Solstice. In case somebody hasn't heard this the description "lousy Slayer rip-off, with players that couldn't even play Darkthrone".